Second Shot

Beijing #5: Real China
If you want a taste of real China (and not just of the bowl you’ll be eating from! Ahaha, I’m so not funny…), then take a trip through the numerous ‘hutongs’ – ancient alleyways and side-streets made by the single-floor houses and shops lining the road that serve the locals. They may look unsafe and dirty, but they are only the latter and sometimes not even all that. Local fruit and veg are available, and if you fancy a haircut there might be a couple around.

There are some hutongs that have tens of pedi-cabs carrying tourists going through them (near the Drum and Bell Tower), but there are many more unspoiled by such sights (check around the Lama Temple area). It’s said that the hutong locals don’t like the adjacent multi-storey buildings as they destroy the community spirit and it’s easy to see how; even though both are (probably) in equal disrepair, the towers just don’t sit right.

Also, as I’m a sad bugger, I noticed a split-unit installation that I’d like to snag. I think Dan would be proud of me.

Beijing #6: It sure is a Great Wall
But before seeing the Great Wall of China, as part of the tour (yes, I actually went on a paid-for, English-speaking, tour) we went to the jade factory (where they make the proper stuff telling you you’re better off buying their products), the medicinal factory (where they have doctors waiting to tell you what is wrong with you so that you buy their products), and then a spot of lunch behind the jade factory.

The Badaling section of the Great Wall was so ridiculously touristy that I had to laugh. Shops and stalls selling crap at the gates, followed by a ride up to the Wall in a single-person go-kart seat on track system (much like the start of a rollercoaster ride). If you’ve been to Land’s End in England, then you’ll know what I’m talking about – somehow they’ve managed to turn a natural beauty into a cash register.

With so many people up around the Wall there was quite a bit of argy-bargy. But work for them and it’ll be worth the effort for the stunning vistas. Even though the Wall has been renovated, it’s still steep in places and some of the steps have been smoothed through the millions of footfalls. So it’ll be a bit of give and take; actually be able to climb a renovated section of the Wall or only see (and struggle to touch) some original handiwork.

Beijing #7: Gatherings in the Park
Yuyuantan Park is a place to go to see what the Chinese people do with their time; basically, they just gather together and socialise. But not just talking, as when you walk further into the park you’ll find a group being taught ballroom dancing, some performing visual art with streaming banners on sticks, some martial arts, singing, and even swimming in the lake which was no doubt freezing and likely to be very dirty. It’s a pretty big place, too, easily taking three hours or so to stroll around completely.

Dotted around the Beijing are large outdoor fruit and vegetable markets; they’re not obvious places and are generally hidden behind buildings – best to look for people holding similar bags of stuff coming from one particular direction. And they’ll generally have shacks selling hot food produced right there and then. Well worth trying out the local snacks.

Quanmen boasts one of the original gates along one of five concentric walls that used to surround the main Beijing city. Now most of the walls have been demolished and replaced with ring roads, so at least they’re still marked in some way. Quanmen itself is a desolate place, with newly constructed buildings ready for people to inhabit – mostly designed for future shopping and restaurants. It’s the greyist place ever, too. But nip into one of the side streets and you’ll discover further typical China with small shops selling nearly everything.

Beijing #4: Traveller’s Guide
(I forgot to mention last time…) For that ultimate freshness of a [to be sung] just-stepped-into-a-hot-vat-of-boiling-oil, select the delectable, still-moving and quite blatantly alive-and-not-wanting-to-be-there, skewered scorpion for your afternoon snack. Yum!

The best food is to be found in street shops that aren’t restaurants (as they serve too many dishes which means the chef is a jack of all trades and is just generally crap at cooking) but more like a greasy-spoon café, except with the smokers and their semi-mankness interior. Don’t (or at least, try not to) be put off by such places (pretty poor cleanliness compared to our developed country and laws) as they offer proper, decent-sized portions of traditional Chinese foodstuffs at ridiculously low prices. I mean, try getting a hot lunch consisting of three different dishes for three for £5 total; it can’t be done anywhere else. Mind, you may not be able to read the menu and I doubt they speak a word of English. But, well worth it if you’re not picky about food and are willing to try anything without knowing – it’s unlikely you’ll be served something you won’t recognise (taste-wise, that is).

Speaking of which, I ate some dog meat. It was quite nice although that was probably down to the sauce that came with it (and, unfortunately (?), hiding the smell of dog). Tasted like regular stewed lamb or pork. Don’t know what all the fuss is about. Haven’t been sick yet.

Take a taxi ride. Like being a driving instructor with a first-timer on a motorway with pedestrianised hard-shoulders, bikes and parked cars (both on the pavement and road), interspersed with major crossings using an adapted American traffic-flow system, which means you can just drive right across a perpendicular flow of traffic, whilst beeping the goddamn out of everyone and everything that gets in your way or looks like it’s going to get in your way, even when it’s not or doesn’t. Oh, and definitely take it in turns to be in the front seat. It’ll be the best 20 Yuan you’ll ever spend (for about 8km) as you smile to yourself, thinking ‘what a way to go’ and running through all your funeral arrangements. But I’ve yet to see a full-out car accident – a couple of fender benders and not even very good at that – just shows how skilled these people are. Just remember to buckle up. Ah, so much fun!

And by taking it in turns to be the front seat passenger, you too can play your part in the ever topical climate change. No longer do you have to sit on the fence but can now actually contribute to the discussion! Amazing! We’re going to die anyway, and China are pumping millions of Yuan into renewable technologies and research. So everybody wins. Hazzah!

Remember the words ‘bui yuo’ (‘no [thanks]’) [pronounce: bwe yow] as you fend off street merchants selling you shit in bag. And souvenirs. (If it’s possible to produce fake souvenirs, then I’m sure they’ve done it and selling them on the streets.)

Whooey… seems I’ve managed to find a bit of time from being a tourist to sit down, relax and share.

Beijing #1: Welcome to Beijing
(Flying over mountains and peering down on small settlements was breathtakingly amazing. It was absolutely beautiful in its own way; for nothing to be there on its landscape, it certainly made the best of what it is. I’d love to go walk around those hills – maybe one day.)

That was a nice bumpy landing. I think it was the first time (in a long while, at least), that I’ve had to steady myself with my hands on the seat in front at touchdown. Mind, nice (Terminal 3) airport; very modernistic. (Heathrow Terminal 5 is better, though.)

Now, I don’t see what all the fuss is about regarding the dusty and smog ridden city; having arrived during early Sunday afternoon the sun was shiny brightly with a slight chill in the air. You could see for miles and the air looked clean and fresh – there were barely any cars around, certainly falling short of what I had expected to see (that is, more traffic jams than you could wave a stick at). Codswhollop, I say.

Anyway, went to Wangfujing Street for a nose around and was led by the parents to some alleyway shops selling all sorts of crap. Better yet, and it’s all true, you really can buy – skewered on a stick – a selection of scorpions, millipedes, starfish, cockroaches and locusts. For the less adventurous (or should that be, more sane), standard affair beef, pork, chicken and squid were up for grabs (as well as a couple of vegetarian options). (Which reminds me; you might find it a hard time to get a decent meal if you’re a vegetarian.)

And then there were the hundreds of shops within tens of emporiums along the pedestrian street. All selling the same thing. All selling things-you-really-don’t-need-but-at-that-price-why-not. All trash and more than likely to be fake. Ah, love it. Although I think I’ve kind of given up on these sorts of shops since my last trip to Hong Kong; I find the items in small-trade street shops far more purchasable, even if I am getting ripped off. It just feels that little bit more special.

Beijing #2: Forbidden City (a.k.a. More-than-welcome City)
Our first full day was quite literally that. It’s been a while since I walked that much, but we packed a lot in. The Forbidden City was the first experience (and certainly not the last, in hindsight) of China’s definition of the word ‘expansive’. There’s nothing quite like a landmark that is surrounded by walls and having a footprint of a small village. Just when you think the initial courtyard is big, you get unsmacked-in-the-face with the width, depth and space of the next courtyard that has small bridges leading to another set of overbearing wooden gates. Maybe the 15-metre high walls surrounding the entrance courtyard should have indicated how stupefying large the City was going to be.

Oh. And now there’s another great big football pitch of a courtyard.

Smaller yards surround the final expansive space, with wooden bungalows (also not short on space) built to house the Concubines of the time. Separate houses for each woman, their name printed on a banner above the gate so that Emperor knew who he was visiting. I guess a girl usually appreciates it if you get their name right (first time).

You could spend all day there, soaking in the craftsmanship of the buildings, stone pedestals aligning the stairs, the marble tablets, and the rest of it. And you may easily get lost doing so, with corridors leading to gates leading to corridors and more gates.

The juxtaposition of the spacious south and confined north strangely works; at first you don’t know which direction you should head, and next you’re being funnelled to different places. Other than parks, I’ve never seen anything so big. Something like this, and still being surrounded by high walls, is absolutely astounding. (Mind, I might have to agree with my Mum saying it’s quite a ‘waste’ of space.)

Tienanmen Square was equally as big in its own right, although not being walled in made it seem smaller than on television. Still, you’d be hard-pushed to actually find someone to jostle with for space. I think the tourism (my god, you should see how many tours were going on in both these places) doesn’t quite allow the historic nature of the Square to come through, or maybe my limited knowledge in history didn’t make me well up with emotion.

Beijing #3: One World, One Dream, 40 Yuan
Ah, the place where the Chinese show their workforce might and business acumen.  Up at the Olympic Park, it’s like they’ve got so much land that they don’t know what to do with it, so they just pave it over and make the largest pedestrianised route, ever.  And then they’ve got straight roads that go from east to west – joining built-up area with a single path - and barely any cars are using it.  And each road has about three lanes in each direction.  Nothing.  Bare.  Quite unbelieveable.

Saw the Water Cube and Bird’s Nest, both outside and inside.  There were other Olympic landmarks but I think that these were the two main ones in this area.  They’re both quite impressive bits of work; it’s the first time I’ve ever seen something of its ilk – they just loom over you as you get closer.

And the business acumen comes from everything costing something; a visit into either of the stadiums costs – not much, about £4 – and you wonder why you’re paying to look at a swimming pool or running track, but you do it anyway.  Because you’re there.  And that’s how China are going to get all there money back.  So many people wandering in, out and about the places, never mind the main streets or surrounding parks.

Nice new subways, too.  I’m sure if it were London, everything would have been defaced by now.

Oh, and now, a couple of days after the weekend, you can see the smog settling low, obscuring buildings in the near-distance.  I see what they mean.  It’s amazing you can still see the sun.

Beijing #4:  Parkour
Two large parks and temples. Again, showing the expansiveness of the Emperor eras. Some nice views at the Summer Palace and worth it for the leisurely stroll around the lake.

And it looks like they’ve given up spitting into bags or tissues. Oh, this didn’t just happen today. Certainly not a place for the health/safety conscious.

More later.  Need to find a cheap hotel to stay at.

Like an aeroplane noise, I’ll be off on holiday shortly. Now I can actually get to use my camera proper.